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Hmmm...

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Dec. 4th, 2010 | 05:30 pm

Leah texted me with some immature BS her man is pulling on her; namely staying curled up tightly on his side of the bed and refusing to touch her because he's mad at her. The best thing he's said to her - "If you think about it, you'll know." She honestly has no idea what she did.

Great role reversal.

Mark did the same thing to me when we were together. He would also rebuff me when I moved to touch him. And then about once a month he would do something sweet like hug me and just hold me. (Swear to you, it was once a month.)

I look back and it's like, how did I let that relationship continue? When he stops hugging me or kissing me goodbye (or hello for that matter), when he stops sitting near me when we're watching a movie, when he doesn't respond to my texts or text me in three days or more...

I watched last night's ep of Supernatural and Castiel pinned Meg against the wall and kissed her. Highly amusing moment if you know the show at all ("I learned that from the pizza man;" BEST LINE EVER). But I started thinking - Mark did that to me when we first started dating and he knew how quickly that got me going. He knew how much I liked it when he was dominating me.

And then he stopped. Clue, Sherlock!

I love that he was angry at me when I broke up with him THREE months later. Three months of me initiating all contact (communication and otherwise) and him rebuffing a good number of my efforts.

I don't understand the game. Is this how it's played now? Like, are you supposed to test how badly someone wants you by ignoring them? What happened to wanting to hang out with someone, to see someone, to talk to someone? What happened to dating? What happened to a guy asking a girl on a date to dinner and a movie, a quick kiss on the cheek to signal yes, I want a second date? What happened to date first, sex later? Why is it that now it's not considered a relationship unless you've already hooked up?

I don't get it.

I'm at war with myself. Obviously, I want a man to push me up against a wall and kiss me. But... I would prefer that be after a couple of dates or he asks me on a date before it goes beyond the kiss. Too bad we can never get what we want.

I know what I want to do and what I should do. I'll do what I should do because I'm too chicken to do what I want to do. Yay?

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